F#ck Macchiatos

I hate macchiatos. They are the worst iteration of espresso + steamed milk.

Why?

– They taste terrible
Espresso at a 1:2 ratio to milk gives an imbalanced drink with almost any coffee. You end up with something that’s lost all the subtley and depth of an espresso without gaining enough sweetness and mouthfeel from the milk to make it enjoyable. Even with low acidity coffee they can taste sharp and weird.

-They waste a ton of milk.
There is a minimum amount of milk you can use in jugs to steam properly and it’s rare to find one smaller than 12oz. You’ll end up throwing away 5 times as much milk as is required every time you make one

-They never look good.
If you’re doing it traditionally to make a white circle you really need to spoon it on,  wasting time. Make the milk wetter to attempt latte art and you’ll likely still make an ugly mess of a drink.

-Starbucks have ruined the name
Every time someone under 30 orders a macchiato I feel the need to clarify with them by saying “An espresso machiatto yeah?” and show the cup. Otherwise you’ll inevitably get that awkward  moment of handing over an actual macchiato and have them stare at it in horror because they were expecting a 12oz Vanilla latte with Caramel drizzle, which for some inexplicable reason Starbucks  call a caramel macchiato.

-It’s a pain in the arse to spell

Cappuccino is bad enough but macchiato is taking the piss. I’ve been a barista for four years and it turns out I still can’t spell macchiato confidently without googling it first. I often refer to myself as a “coffee brewer” rather than barista out of utter disdain for Italian terminology and the link to poor quality coffee this insinuates. A macchiato is the prime example of this.

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Every barista I know hates both the taste of, and making, macchiatos. They are the coffee equivalent of a Mojito. Why almost every speciality cafe still has them on the menu defies logic.

If you would like to read a more eloquently argued piece on why macchiatos suck then read Chris Baca’s piece Marked for Death, it even has a better name

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